There Are Only 6 Ways to Go About Finding Love - Take You Pick
You'd think there would be countless ways to go about finding love but there's actually only six - and some are more effective than others. Choose your path wisely.

Read this article on Medium or listen to the Your Dating Bestie Podcast episode here
Finding a loving life partner or spouse is a big life goal most people want to kick. (I know I certainly did.)
But there are two things most people aren’t aware of:
That there are only 6 ways to go about finding love, andÂ
You get to choose which of the 6 ways you go about it.
Here are the six ways to go about finding love and the pros and cons of each one. I hope you find it enlightening.Â
And I hope it helps you decide which way YOU’RE going to go about finding love. But just quietly, I think â„–6 is the best way.Â
Option #1: Do nothingÂ
How to find love, option #1 is: Do nothing. This means you just live your life and hope someone comes along eventually.Â
I call this ‘falling ass-backwards into a relationship’. And it works for a lot of people. They meet their life partner or spouse in high school, at university, at work, through family or friends (like my parents did) and never really need to actively get out on the dating scene.Â
The pro is you don’t have to spend any time, money or energy on dating.
The con is it’s the least effective way to find love, especially as you age. The older you get, the less likely you are to find love this way.Â
Choose this option if you’re 100% content being single.Â
Option #2: Actively date and learn through trial and error
How to find love, option #2 is: Actively date and learn through trial and error.Â
This means you do get out on the dating scene, usually through online dating and/or singles events, such as speed dating, but with absolutely no dating advice or guidance. You just fumble your way through it and learn through trial and error.Â
The pro is you don’t have to learn anything new.
The con is you’re probably going to find dating extremely confusing, frustrating and disappointing.Â
Choose this option if you want to find love but hate being told what to do no matter how much it might help you.
Option #3: Actively date with dating advice
How to find love, option #3 is: Actively date with dating advice.Â
This means you get out on the dating scene armed with dating advice from articles, podcasts, videos, books and maybe even an online course.Â
The pro is you’ll have a slightly better dating experience than dating with absolutely no dating advice whatsoever.Â
The con is dating advice alone isn’t enough — and it’s highly likely that, years later, you’ll still be single. That’s because (as I learned the hard way) what you really need is someone to help you APPLY the dating advice.Â
Choose this option if you really, truly, can’t afford to invest in working with a dating expert to get some much-needed personal guidance.
Option #4: Actively date with the help of a dating coach
How to find love, option #4 is: Actively date with the help of a dating coach.Â
This means you get out on the dating scene and regularly check in with your dating coach for guidance.Â
The pro is you’ll maximise your chances of finding love.Â
The con is dating coaches are notoriously expensive. We’re talking thousands and sometimes tens of thousands of dollars.Â
Choose this option if you’re motivated to find love and can afford to invest in working with a dating coach. Just keep in mind that no matter how much you invest, you still have to date. Mr Right won’t just magically appear.Â
Option #5: Actively date with the help of a matchmakerÂ
How to find love, option #5 is: Actively date with the help of a professional matchmaker.Â
This means you go out on dates with people a matchmaker has fixed you up with. Matchmakers tend to fall into one of two categories:Â
They’re free and service a specific minority, such as Jews, Muslims or East Indians, orÂ
They’re astronomically expensive and service millionaires, like Patti Stanger — the Millionaire MatchmakerÂ
The pro is you don’t have to sift through hundreds of online dating profiles.Â
The con is I truly believe no one can match you better than you can match yourself, especially when you learn how to date more effectively.Â
You can give a minority-focused matchmaker a go, especially if it’s free. But I suggest you steer clear of most high-end matchmakers. They’re a waste of money. Learning how to date more effectively is a much better investment.Â
And finally…Â
Option #6: Actively date with the help of a professional dating mentorÂ
How to find love, option #6: Actively date with the help of a professional dating mentor in a supportive online community like the Your Dating Bestie community.Â
Yes, I know I’m selling myself. But hear me out.Â
I truly believe this is the most fun, effective and affordable way to find love because it offers the best of everything:Â
A simple step-by-step system,Â
The support you need to implement it, andÂ
A professionally written dating profile to make you irresistible online
Best of all, not only will I NOT charge you an arm and a leg, but I’ll be there for you every step of the way until you find your Mr Right. Yup, lifetime access. Take that, Mr Corleone! THIS is an ‘offer you can’t refuse’.Â
SummaryÂ
To summarise, there are only 6 ways to go about finding love and the choice is yours. They are:Â
1. Do nothing — and hope someone just comes along. This is the least effective way to find love.
2. Actively date through online dating or singles events, such as speed dating, and learn through trial & error. This is the slowest way to find love.
3. Actively date with a little dating advice from articles, podcasts, videos, books and courses — and still learn mostly through trial & error. That’s because no matter how good the dating advice, what you really need is someone to help you apply it. This is the second slowest way to find love.
4. Actively date with the help of a dating coach. This is an effective but often expensive way to find love.
5. Actively date with the help of a matchmaker. This is usually an expensive and, in my opinion, ineffective way to find love.
6. Actively date with the help of a professional dating mentor in a supportive online community, such as the Your Dating Bestie community. This is the most fun, effective and affordable way to find love (if I do say so myself).
Find Mr Right the un-miserable way
Think you can’t find love without suffering through dating? Think again.
Allow me to introduce (drum roll)… The Un-Miserable Dating Method.
If you’d like to have a much quicker and smoother journey to Mr Right than I did, I can’t wait to tell you all about it. Just visit YourDatingBestie.com.
And don’t miss my FREE TRAINING - Empowered AF: How to find Mr Right without having to change yourself, lower your standards or waste your time.
Hi Elly, even though your substack's aimed at women, I was curious enough as a man to join. Hope you don't mind me being here!
Too curious not to, I went to your site and just went through your report.
I want to say to all the women reading this - please get Elly's report! It would be great if more women knew this. Especially what Elly says about the qualities that make for the most desirable long term partner - that actually got me a bit emotional.
Er - thanks in advance for not mentioning this to my Karate friends :-D